"How the fuck should I know!?" Snapped over his shoulder at Cloud, only to huff an exasperated breath. "I... I get why Zell wants one. He's right. We can't compete with people here, it's too much that's so far beyond human capabilities and even getting the tiny bit of control over the elements that I've managed has taken me my whole damn life. But Squall?" He stomps along once more, circling back to the punching bag for one more blow.
"Whatever this other life of his was he's got plenty of fucking power. He doesn't need them. So why the hell??" A defeated sort of sigh as he shakes his head. "I dunno. Zell said they had precautions now but I sure as fuck wasn't capable of listening.... so I left."
Cloud frowns, looking down. He can understand Zell's perspective, too. After all, Cloud himself was once willing to take the risks of mako infusion if it meant he could be SOLDIER. But...Seifer's right about Squall. His magic is more than enough. And having gone through something similar to the memory effects they dealt with, he's not sure the Cloud of today would agree with his younger self that it's worth it even for Zell.
"Precautions." Cloud's voice is flat as a pancake. "What a comfort that'll be when they start losing shit."
He doesn't want to tell Seifer about Squall's nightmares, that would be breaking his confidence. But as distraught as Squall was that night, why the fuck would he risk all that again? Not to mention--
"...he knows what it's like. Being forgotten. This is bullshit. I'll talk to him."
"That's what I fucking thought." Seifer hisses. He hates this helpless sort of rage. It's infuriating and frustrating and only serves to make it that much harder to pull his emotions back under control.
"I'm gonna talk to them again in the morning. And... just try to make it make sense." One hand comes up to scrub back through his hair, only making it messier without his usual gel to keep it in place. "Maybe he'll actually listen to you. Fuck knows he stopped listening to me a long ass time ago." Seifer turns himself so he's not looking at Cloud, refusing to make eye contact or acknowledge the deeper hurt even as he speaks.
"Ever since me 'n Zell got here we've been... tryna find things that'll jog his memory. Little things that might make him remember-" me. Unspoken but Cloud knows enough about the situation that he can fill that in easily enough. "What's the point if he's just gonna do it again?"
The idea that he might come back and only remember the horrible things Seifer did under Ultimecia's control without the context of him being under her control is also terrifying. Not that he wouldn't deserve it if Squall did decide he needed to die for his crimes but... Zell has made a point of impressing on him how horrifying it would be from the other side, convinced to murder someone that should have been a friend because the memories that had shaped that friendship are long gone. He trusts that he could turn Zell away from ending up there but Squall?
As the one who's done much more of the forgetting than being forgotten, Cloud has no comment to make on Seifer's talk of whether or not Squall listens to him.
"Maybe he thinks those little things'll be enough even if he does forget again. Sounds too risky to me. ...lost memories of important people before, myself. Wouldn't risk it again for all the power in the world."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2022-12-09 09:08 pm (UTC)"Whatever this other life of his was he's got plenty of fucking power. He doesn't need them. So why the hell??" A defeated sort of sigh as he shakes his head. "I dunno. Zell said they had precautions now but I sure as fuck wasn't capable of listening.... so I left."
no subject
Date: 2022-12-10 03:33 am (UTC)"Precautions." Cloud's voice is flat as a pancake. "What a comfort that'll be when they start losing shit."
He doesn't want to tell Seifer about Squall's nightmares, that would be breaking his confidence. But as distraught as Squall was that night, why the fuck would he risk all that again? Not to mention--
"...he knows what it's like. Being forgotten. This is bullshit. I'll talk to him."
no subject
Date: 2022-12-12 01:58 am (UTC)"I'm gonna talk to them again in the morning. And... just try to make it make sense." One hand comes up to scrub back through his hair, only making it messier without his usual gel to keep it in place. "Maybe he'll actually listen to you. Fuck knows he stopped listening to me a long ass time ago." Seifer turns himself so he's not looking at Cloud, refusing to make eye contact or acknowledge the deeper hurt even as he speaks.
"Ever since me 'n Zell got here we've been... tryna find things that'll jog his memory. Little things that might make him remember-" me. Unspoken but Cloud knows enough about the situation that he can fill that in easily enough. "What's the point if he's just gonna do it again?"
The idea that he might come back and only remember the horrible things Seifer did under Ultimecia's control without the context of him being under her control is also terrifying. Not that he wouldn't deserve it if Squall did decide he needed to die for his crimes but... Zell has made a point of impressing on him how horrifying it would be from the other side, convinced to murder someone that should have been a friend because the memories that had shaped that friendship are long gone. He trusts that he could turn Zell away from ending up there but Squall?
no subject
Date: 2023-01-04 12:35 am (UTC)"Maybe he thinks those little things'll be enough even if he does forget again. Sounds too risky to me. ...lost memories of important people before, myself. Wouldn't risk it again for all the power in the world."